The pain that goes into it

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Have you ever wondered why some artists struggle with alcohol, drugs and other sedatives to numb out of life? I think the sad truth is that many, if not most artists are highly sensitive characters. And their sensitivity causes stress, anxiety, depression and a poor response towards outward and self-imposed pressure. It is that high sensitivity that enables artists (myself included) to write heartfelt songs. It is the thorough understanding of the whole spectrum of human emotions that makes a great storyteller or a great musician. And it is their sensitivity that can at times be quite painful. At least that´s how I feel about it!
To me some songs come easy. They basically just happen…as if they were creating themselves or as Hemingway put it: ” The story was writing itself and I was having a hard time keeping up with it.”
Yet other times I find it with me that I have to go through mental and physical pain before something good crystalizes…
By that, I don´t mean the psychological pain of dealing with certain life experiences that we all go through… and which, as an artist you want to process and then hopefully transform them into song. That sure can be a pain in the ass, too…;)

 

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In this case what I refer to, is the pain of creating…Let me explain:

I sometimes feel the urge to write and create something, despite a lack of good ideas or strong emotions that go into it…Yet something within me tells me I have to keep going. It is like a calling really. And those moments can be tough. I will usually push myself hard, trying too hard to come up with something and struggling with keeping my energy levels at a constant level.The result is that I get super hyper, then sad, then hyper again.

This is not usually a state of clarity at all. Instead my brain often feels foggy…mostly resulting in heavy migraines…but I always pull through and at the end…a couple of days later, something good may come out of it. But yes, those moments are hard to put in words.

I know I have to go through them. I never know wether or not I will end up with something good, but I often do. I wonder how long I will be able to keep doing this without developing major health problems, guys! And yet, I guess the sweetness and pride and the love of writing songs makes up for it all. Think of a mental birth process really…no pain no gain!

After all, nobody said it was gonna be easy!

If you ever feel the same, just keep walking! You´ll eventually get to the top!

 

Love as alway,

Katie