I am grateful. Last Friday, after losing a little battle (I don´t even like battling myself against anyone), I sat down and reflected on the importance of this little defeat! As I was reflecting, things certainly became very clear! I found answers to questions I had been posing for a while!
I want to share what I´ve found in this very personal blog post today. It´s from my diary and I feel like sharing this, as it might help you, if you are struggling with something! It might help you with your songwriting also! Bottom line will be: Take away the pressure from things! It´s well worth it! Hope you like my post, if not, please be gentle and respectful anyways! Don´t hate! It´s a waste of time and energy! Here we go:
Katie’s diary, July 7th:
I woke up today! I literally woke up! I realize now, how important God has become in my life. God is pure love. I am loved! I first had to learn that!
I also realize how we or I am often dangerously close to taking success for love! Success does not equal love! Praise and social recognition should not define how loveable we are. Love comes without conditions. It needs no merit! It is free and pure and kind. It doesnt favor success or strenght over weakness and failure. In fact weakness and vulnerability make us humble and more human.
Success does´t matter!
Love is there, when success is not! Love carries us through life! Success is meant to give you strenght and courage, so you can grow and progress. And while this is a good thing, it will only be momentarily. We also need failure in our lives! We need to shrink. It´s a constant up and down that serves us in our journey towards love.
We are awake, then we sleep, we are hungry until we´re fed, we win and lose, we grow and shrink. What keeps us going in all this is love! It´s our fountain.
It is holy and it is real and universal. We just must not take success, or food, or any short pleasure for it! Love is what stays. It´s a perpetuum mobile! We commute around love-always returning to its center. We feel it the most when we are in happiness or pain. But what should make you happy is not a defined success. What you do, and who you are should make you happy! Not the outcome!
Let me draw a picture for you: We constantly commute! We shrink and grow and eat and digest, we walk and rest, only to feel the love! We feel it when we are on the low or the high end, but really love lives in the center! Love is our goal and our fountain! The bigger plan! Being alife in a body and with a human mind is a gift, we are given, so we can experience love! We can feel and recognize love through various means! Thank you Lord! For all my trials! They opened my eyes!
P.S. I always said music is love! But that´s not quite right either! Music is a means of experiencing and spreading love. Love itself has no shape! I think we must not take the things we love for love! Never! God is love! The truth, the light and the way! God is a God of the living! Through life we find love! Through the ups and downs! I found it more through my downs. In the moments of „up“ we think we are the greatest! But those are only graces! Nobody is great! We are all small and all the same! We all receive those graces and we all receive sufferings! But with all sufferings we are also granted hope and if we believe we are loved, nothing else matters! If we can trust in love, if we can seed a positive thought instead of becoming bitter. If we can take action instead of staying frozen, that´s when we honour love! We will receive it back instantly! For love is kind! I think that´s the beauty of life! In moments of darkness, it is our job to dare to fight for something better! We shall never remain too long in darkness or light! That´s what music does for me! Express my pain and joy. So I can move on! I love making music. That´s all that counts. Not whether people like it or accept it! My music shall not be judged! Just like no human should be judged. It should liked or disliked, but always be respected!
Be wise!
So, go and be happy! Be successful and be powerful! Just don´t think these states of being equal love! Don´t get addicted to these glimpses (or say revelations) of love! And don´t mistake your ego with love! That´s the biggest danger! Know, that you are not special because you are happy or successful or powerful! We are all the same! We all circle around love! Up and down! We are all brothers and sisters! And we need not fight against each other. We should only fight for love! Together! Through darkness and through sunshine!